by Irwin Chusid on WFMU ~ Wednesday 2:00 - 3:00 pm
[return to the Muriel's Treasure Home Page]
12 OCT 05
Dude -- I can't understand the lyrics.
Phil -- Shut up and dance. And don't call me 'dude.'
Dear Irwin -- I prefer the old calypso recordings to the newer soca stuff.
Dear Karen -- Thanks for not calling me 'dude.' Learn to like the newer
stuff. I'm 87 years old and made the transition. You can too. Anything I
play on the show is GOOD. There's a lot of CRAPPY SOCA. I'm protecting your
ears from it.
19 OCT 05
Dear Irwin - I tried contacting you earlier about your low interest mortgage
rate. You have been selected for our lowest rate in years. Bad credit?
Bankruptcy? Doesn't matter. Please play more Sparrow.
Mestre - Your correspondence is always appreciated. Nice to hear from you
again. And again. And again. Are the meds helping?
Listener Pete gripes:
> the hell with Muriel. how long can you keep this (calypso thing)
going? another month maybe?
Actually, the program has been an enormous hoax on the listeners! Next week
Gender Bias returns!!
In fact, I haven't been hosting Muriel's Treasure the past three weeks.
Kenny G has been IMPERSONATING ME!!!
> when do the songs stop sounding the same?
I know, I know. I can't believe people actually LIKE THIS STUFF!!!!!
Next week on GB -- a tribute to the 9th anniversary of Lilith Fair, with
lots of Sarah McLachlan, Jewel, and Tracy Chapman.
26 OCT 05
I like the dirty calypsos better.
-- Ken from Denver
Ken: It's all in your mind. Sometimes a bedbug is just an insect, and big
bamboo is just a whup-ass stick.
Dude, sorry I called you 'Dude' a few weeks ago. I still can't understand
the lyrics. Can you provide a glossary? Or a decoding manual?
Phil: Decoding manuals aren't free. The point of this program is to drive
traffic to the MT homepage which links to Calypso Decoding Manuals
Are all these calypsonians really members of British royalty? Their names
are very impressive.
Kerry: Very few of the Kings, Barons, Dukes, Princes, and Counts who sing
calypso are actual British royalty. Less than 15%. Those who are will be so
identified on this program.
02 NOV 05
Listener Arlene complains:
I try to listen each week, but after about 10-12 minutes, I have to turn the
volume down. The lyrics are funny, but the jaunty beat is just so damn --
JAUNTY. After a while I can't take it. The nuances are there -- I know --
but that irrepressible jauntiness makes me seasick. A solid hour of Muriel
is just too much! That music is like jumping on a trampoline. You have to
get off after 10 minutes and when you do, the solid ground feels good under
your feet . Turning the volume down after 10 minutes of that jaunty beat is
to the brain what solid ground is to getting off a trampoline. Can you lower
the jaunty meter?
Arlene: You accuse me of forcing upon the audience "excessive jauntiness,"
and of consigning them to a trampoline for an hour each week.
Do you know how ridiculous these charges would sound in a court of law, much
less in a calypso tent? Or, for that matter, in a schoolyard? Besides, how
much jauntiness is the average person exposed to in a week? Where does one
go to obtain a minimum daily dose of jauntiness, to exercise the jaunty
muscles, to massage the jaunty gland? RIGHT HERE, darlin'. A little spurt of
jaunt is good for the soul. If you can't get it elsewhere, top off your tank
with an hour of Muriel, and hope it lasts all week. If you're stuck on jury
duty, forced to work late at the office, or having a colonoscopy, make a
small withdrawal from your jaunty account. It could make unpleasant
circumstances bearable. We're here to serve.